There is a kind of Hope

There is a kind of hope that is beyond “wishing and hoping” like the old song says.  There is a hope—and a faith—that do endure because they come from God.  Just reading the first few chapters of Luke, especially during the Christmas season, brings real awe and wonder at all God did:  the various places and people He worked in and through, including an old woman who prayed night and day in the temple.  I could quality for part of that role as an oldster and a prayer.

          Thus began our Christmas letter this year that became our New Year’s wishes to family and friends, and that first sentence has stayed with me.  Yes, there is a kind of hope and faith that do endure, beyond possibility, beyond human perseverance, beyond the time we think we should have to wait for God to act in answer to our prayers.  A favorite section of scripture addresses the tenacity of this hope that endures:  “When there was nothing left to hope for, Abraham still hoped and believed Him . . .  As a result, he became a father of many nations, as he had been told” (Rom. 4:18).  The Bible is full of “hopeless circumstances” that God turns around to rescue His people and display His splendor.

          In Acts 27, Paul recounts one of his deliverances from danger and death.  Even though he issued a grave warning of disaster at sea, no one heeded his words and their voyage sailed into stormy waters; they were “exceedingly tempest tossed” at sea (27:18).  Finally, “all hope that we would be saved was finally given up.  But after long abstinence from food, Paul stood in their midst and said, ‘Men, you should have listened to me,’” and then he added that an angel had stood by him that night, telling him not to fear, that only the ship would be lost.  Paul told them “to take heart, men, for I believe God that it will be just as it was told me” (27:20-25).

          Discouragement and weariness of body and spirit can overtake us if we do not turn to God for fresh encouragement, insight and hope.  For me, the story of Lazarus in John 11 has challenged, instructed and encouraged me during these last years of worsening symptoms greatly affecting my energy and mobility.  Talk about a hopeless situation—dead in a cave is about as bad as it gets.  Yet, Jesus keeps asking the sisters what they believe about Him.  That is the central question—what do we believe about Jesus.  Are we listening to Him, to the guidance of the Holy Spirit?

          Even after returning from a joyous time with our small clan now featuring Mason, 14 months and Henry, 4 ½, I was in need of a strong and fresh “word of encouragement” from God.  Among the several devotionals I read was a pearl titled, “Delay may not mean Denial,” illustrated by the story of Lazarus.  Jesus seems to have waited too long to show up.  “Jesus had bypassed simply healing His sick friend in order to perform the greater miracle of bringing him back to life.”

          Jesus healed and continues that ministry when we seek Him with the hope and faith He gives when we do. Hope in Jesus endures like no other because it’s all about God, from start to finish. 

To the Field, one more time

          

Almost a year ago, I wrote about our family’s visits to the farm where the movie, Field of Dreams, was filmed—never expecting to be there again just last week as we made our way through Iowa after going to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.  That earlier blog post ended as follows:

From all around the world, thousands have visited the movie site since the summer it played in theaters.  Lovers of baseball, people drawn to the simple values of a simpler time and place and a chance to go back and make something right from the past—the movie, stirs many feelings, prompting people to make their pilgrimages to this place where “dreams come true”--  or, where impossibilities can happen because someone “hears” God’s voice and believes.  Mother Theresa puts it this way:  “May we not forget the infinite possibilities born of faith.”

However at times, it does feel like someone or something is trying to squeeze and squish that hope, that dream, that expectation of impossibilities born of faith out of every fiber of our being.  Thus, the importance of remembering, refilling or refueling our “earthen vessels” with what only God can supply: the kind of hope and faith, though coming from the tiniest of seeds, that is powerful enough to fight off fatigue, discouragement, and weariness of body and soul as we run the race and fight the good fight of faith in this life.

               Last night, after considering the DVDs in our home collection, we settled on popping in The Field of Dreams and choosing some of our favorite scenes.  Although we know—and love—many of the lines by heart, there is power and joy in reviewing the story of the farmer who did something completely illogical and financially risky by following “the voice” he first heard in his corn field.  I was reminded of the obstacles and scorn he faced once he cleared part of the profitable cornfields and used his savings to build a ball field in the middle of nowhere.  I was also reminded of the confirming support he received from others, including his wife, and the continued guidance he heard from “the voice,”   whose last message was to “go the distance.” 

               The Mayo Clinic is a very well-run enterprise where bright and mostly caring doctors, residents, and technical staff listen to your “stories” and descriptions of your symptoms, and then line up further testing and consultations with additional doctors mostly in a few days’ time.  Finally, the overseeing doctor sends you home with information—in my case a confirmation of two possible neurological disorders which have no medical cures, and some newly identified tears and problems in my hips.

Returning to the field on a windy and cold November day was for me, a return to ways and possibilities not covered in the world of science and medicine.  A return to hope that doesn’t disappoint because it comes from God Himself and is maintained and guarded by Him as we walk the road of faith (Romans 5:3-5).   Clearly, it is time to “go the distance” and receive the blessings God prepares for those who love Him and believe He is still the God who acts in compassion by renewing our hope and healing our minds and bodies just as Jesus did when He walked among us. 

                  

 

First a club, now a trip

               Just a year ago, I “was invited” by a physical therapist to become part of the Cane Carriers Club even though I had no desire to join.  However, with some reluctance, I bought a cane and did find it helpful with walking because of balance and stiffness issues.  I have found strangers can be quite nice in holding doors open.  One lady even offered to accompany me up a stairwell recently even though I am very capable of getting up stairs as long as a railing or wall is close.

               Now, after a doctor’s suggestion to get checked out at the Mayo Clinic almost a year ago, I am on a trip that I didn’t really want to take.  I have been a perplexing composite of symptoms for many years.  At the beginning I was put into the fibromyalgia pain bucket.  In 1991, very few people had even heard of the malady, including me.  A syndrome of symptoms exists, many of which I have, but more than one rheumatologist has told me that I am not a good fit for fibromyalgia only.  Fast forward to 2014 with symptoms, now worse or even new, have put me at present with a diagnosis which again, no one has heard of: Primary Lateral Sclerosis (PLS).  Only 600 people in the United States are said to have this difficulty—or maybe 601.

               My husband called the Mayo Clinic last summer when I became very sick with flu-like symptoms, including some significant pain, similar to what began the health difficulties in 1990.  And now on this November day, we have journeyed to Rochester, Minnesota, seeking a good medical going over, especially for finding pain management better than strong pain pills and virtually no assistance from a pain management doctor. The trip I didn’t want to take—ever.

               Yes, there have been a lot of doctors, but thankfully, there have also been many prayers and many “spoken words” from that still small voice, a voice I have found to be comforting, encouraging and consistent.  The powerful God and the amazing miracle working ministry of Jesus seem to be diminished in today’s presentation of Christianity.  Where is the earnest seeking of God?  Where is the effort and time commitment to study and prayer?  My physical limitations have provided more of an opportunity to use the “down time” necessary for me every day to become more tenacious and passionate about seeking Jesus, the One who has promised us so many things.

               Earlier this morning, my husband and I spent a little time as we often do reading a devotion book and praying.  One of my very favorite psalms was in a reading, emphasizing two key lines of Psalm 46.  “The Lord is my refuge, a present help in trouble” (46:1).  Of course, it is encouraging to know God is a present help.  However, it is verse 10 that God brings me back to over and over through the years of many kinds of situations.  “Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God.”  God wants to be exalted in our lives and that characteristic follows verse ten as a promise: “I will be exalted . . . “     

               May it be so, oh Lord, may it be so.

The Power of Remembering

               My father died early on a Saturday morning in May, 1995.  It was not sudden or unexpected.  After three months of hospice care, he had slipped dramatically the week leading up to that morning.  Our daughter Bonnie, a freshman in college at the time, had come in the night before, and all four of us had been able to visit Grandpa.

               His battle with cancer had begun six years earlier with the discovery of prostate cancer.  His treatment began with surgery and an unexpected spread into nearby lymph nodes.  He endured radiation, chemotherapy, and life-saving surgery with an intestinal blockage in l992.  His oncologist advised hospice care for the three months he expected my father to have left.  But God had strongly impressed me with the centurion’s story in Mathew in his request for his servant’s healing. He believed in Jesus’s authority and power to make his servant well even without coming to the centurion’s house.  Others prayed for my father’s healing, and after a month in the hospital, Dad regained strength and lived three more years.

               He died around five in the morning.  Our son had a baseball game early that day, but I don’t recall doing anything else until the evening.  In the “olden times,” when we took pictures with cameras and pasted snapshots into picture albums, I had kept up very well with picture taking and putting them into books, starting back before our daughter was born.  By whose inspiration I can’t recall, but we spent several hours sitting on our sofa and looking back over the many books, picture by picture, page by page.  We remembered so many occasions, big and small, that included Grandpa and Grandma, because they lived nearby and very much wanted to be a part of the life we lived.  They were generous with their time and their resources, often paying for dinners out and babysitting grandchildren.  Many of the daylilies I have in our yard originally came from Grandpa’s garden.

               Those hours that night spent looking back at our lives before cancer robbed Grandpa of his vim and vigor were wonderfully healing and comforting for us all.  Remembering him and the times we shared often helping one another out in some way made us realize we had a lot to be thankful for, many years of good times and blessings.  This “picture night” came to my mind as I began to write about God’s instructions to us to remember or put another way, to “forget not His benefits” (Ps. 103).  Faced with a concern, an illness, a challenge, perhaps an impossibility, God calls us to remember who He is and what He has been and done in the scriptures and in our lives.

               A story I too often identify with finds the disciples in a tempest-ridden sea with Jesus asleep in the boat.  “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mark 4:38).  Faced with a life-threatening storm, the disciples were forgetting the man in the boat had healed the multitudes and taught with authority. He was with them—and that made all the difference.  He “rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace, be still.’ And the wind ceased and there was great calm” (Mark 4:39).

               The temptation to fear is understandable and real when we are faced with some of life’s unknowns or known difficulties, but God’s word tells us many times to “be not afraid,” or to “fear not.”  Turning our attention to Jesus, His words and His demonstrations of God’s love and power both in the scriptures and in our lives, should help us remember, to “forget not” just what a mighty God we serve.  His Spirit is alive and well, poured out to continue the great works of God and Jesus, His son.

               John the Baptist had it right when he said more of God and less of me (paraphrase of John 3:30).

 

 

               

 

 

Seeking Jesus in unrestful times

                My personal connection to Ferguson, now known internationally for its racial unrest, is a strong and peaceful one.  I grew up in Normandy, a bordering suburb, and did my student teaching at a Ferguson High School.  For nine years, my husband, our children and I lived in Ferguson Hills, and went to church in the community.  I still attend a weekly prayer and share group at this church in Ferguson even though we live just outside the Florissant boundary now.

               Two of the women in this little group live in Ferguson and most of us attend the church.  We have had some animated discussions over our 12 or 13 years, but a recent one about the police shooting in Ferguson and its aftermath was one of the most charged.  As I was listening and considering the difficulties that have beset this city, the word “unrest” came to mind not only for this local situation but other ones of conflict around the world.   Our human emotions have a wide range from helpful and gentle to destructive and quite malicious. 

               Thinking about the issue of rest, a well-known quote from St. Augustine’s vast writings comes to mind:  “Because God has made us for Himself, our hearts are restless until they rest in Him.”  We do many things to “quiet” unrest stemming from frustration, pain and anger which we all experience at times.  Hurting people want to feel better, want to right a wrong, want to find peace, and some seem to want to cause trouble, a lot of trouble supposedly for a worthy cause.    We all can be deceived about the “righteousness” of our behavior and our cause at times, and that’s important to remember. 

It’s also important to remember that grace and mercy are at the heart of the Christian faith.  John wrote of Jesus being “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).  He was known for seeking out the outcasts of society and ministering to them in the power of the Holy Spirit.  He could be direct, even seemingly tough at times, as in the story of the Syro-Phoenician mother seeking help for her daughter (Mark 7:24-30). Coming to Jesus requires repentance and turning from sin.  Not everyone responded to His invitation, but He gave opportunities to many just the same.

As I write this, it occurs to me that angry mobs are made up of individual people, some of whom might be very different in other circumstances or with better influences around them.  Walking into screaming mobs or trying to talk to people who only want to shout probably won’t help anything.  But surely, we as Christians have something important to bring to this moment in our city, in our country and in our world.

Jesus promoted certain behaviors in the beatitudes, including “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Mat. 5:9).  He also pointed out that “apart from Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5).  Seeking Jesus, letting His wisdom and love rule in our hearts, and praying earnestly and perseveringly both in public and in private—these choices and attitudes must fuel our thinking and acting for peace and reconciliation today and every day.     

Playing in the Rough

               Odd that I should choose a golfing metaphor, like playing in the rough,  to describe my life in recent months—hence the lack of posts.  Pain while sitting plays a part in my infrequent visits to the lovethatpersists part of me.  But I’ll dust off these keys and share what I believe was “inspired prayer” during the weekly prayer and share meeting I attend this morning.

               I cannot remember a meeting over at least 12 years now when as much frustration and emotion were expressed among the seven of us gathered.  The latest chapter in a very serious local situation in Ferguson, blown out of proportion around the world at this point, was part of what was driving the emotion.  But the church where we meet has had a few unusual and traumatic situations of its own the last 4 or 5 years, years that have wearied the majority of the group who attend the church.

                 Having managed to share our prayer concerns for the lists we make each week, we turned to music and sang a few songs, giving God a chance to put some better thoughts and insights in our minds.  Romans 12 begins by encouraging all of us to “not be conformed to this world” but to allow God to “renew our minds.”  After singing a few songs, we have an open time of prayer.  Ladies can pray silently or pray out loud taking advantage of an opportunity—too rare, I fear—to pray with other Christians.  I  usually begin after a minute or two with no advance planning about what I will say.

               Today was especially interesting to me at what came out of my mouth.  A few places in the Bible God issues some questions at significant times, times where discouragement and frustration may be in the air.  Job has been through every possible misery, losing his family, his possessions, his health and enduring his friends’ “theories” of how this had happened.  Then the Lord has His say, revealing His omnipotence:  “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?” (Job 38:4).  And after setting Job straight, Job rightly takes a more humble place before God and finds himself blessed twice as much as he was before.     

               Another time of questioning in Isaiah might be more familiar.  Israel is in need of God’s comforting good news.  Again, God comes with questions.  “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth neither faints or grows weary” (40:28).  The promise then is given: “Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.  They shall mount up with wings as eagles” (40:31).

               Perhaps the most pressing of all the questions is what Jesus asks Martha at her brother Lazarus’s tomb, a tomb he has been in for four long days.  “Did I not say to you that if you would believe (in Me being the resurrection and the life) you would see the glory of God?” (John 11:40).  Jesus seems to be asking a lot of this grieving, weary sister.  But she is there with Him, waiting when her brother walks, wrappings and all, out of the tomb—alive.

               I think this morning during prayer time when God brought these questions to my mind, He was reminding me and any who would listen that things can look bad before they change, before that spoken promise of strength or resurrection comes true.  A lot of people who accomplish amazing things point to just three short words to remember:  Don’t Give Up.  God just wanted to remind me.  

God's will--something to prove?

               A framed picture about God’s will hung on a granite wall where two main elevators “ferried” visitors at what was then St. John’s Hospital in 1977.  I firmly believed the message which claimed nothing happens apart from God willing it so was terribly wrong.  Our premature son spent just a brief part of his 17 days of life at that hospital, and I was and still am convinced that the diseases that took his life were not of God’s intended “good plans” for him.

               Many books have been written about God’s will, others exploring why bad things happen to good people.  I make no claim to have everything figured out on this subject, but I do think it is important for us as Christians to be very careful and discerning about what we choose to believe concerning God and His will at work in our world. 

               After our son’s death, I “discovered” Jer. 29:11—“I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil . . .” at a Bible study one evening.  I knew little about the book of Jeremiah at the time, but I thought this statement was a very clear indication that God’s plans were for good in general.  This seemed to be a fundamental standard to measure life’s events, including the terrible illnesses that had afflicted our son and other children I saw in the neonatal unit at Children’s Hospital when I visited Dan there.

               In the Lord’s Prayer, the only real one Jesus taught that was recorded, He instructed us to pray “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  Why would we be encouraged to ask for God’s will to be done if whatever happens is His will anyway?  And if things here are to be as they are in heaven, there is no sickness there.

               A scripture that has been a stirring one to me for many years is in Romans 12: 2:  “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”  First, “good,” “acceptable,” “perfect,” seem to leave out much of what is awful about our human existence—disease, war, hunger, hate, etc.  But more interesting is the presentation of God’s will as something to be proved, a process God wants us to sacrificially offer our very lives to.

               One of Webster’s definitions for “prove” is “to establish the truth or validity of by evidence or demonstration.”  In this Roman’s verse, God’s will then is something to be proven, to be established as true by  evidence.  Jesus did this over and over again in his ministry.  He taught about God but He also demonstrated the compassion and power of God over natural elements, like storms, over disease by healing multitudes who came to Him for help.  Never was anyone turned away; never was a disease stronger than the power of God to heal.

               I have an Amy Grant CD called “Hymns for the Journey.”  As the title suggests, there are well-known hymns but some with new arrangements or additions.  One of my favorite is “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” which contains some additional lines.  One that I especially like is this:  “May I still Thy goodness prove.” 

When I listen to this CD as I did today, that line is my prayer.  Jesus asks us still, what do you believe about Me?  He told Lazarus’s sisters He was the resurrection and the life—to just believe no matter how things looked.  Anything is possible with God if we seek Him for the faith to believe in what looks impossible.  "Infinite possibilities born of faith” Mother Theresa called them.  It’s all from God and intended for His glory.

Resolve and worshipful thanksgiving

               Recently, health difficulties escalated, and painful sitting advanced to an all-time high.  Looking back, I see the last post was May 13,^th even surprising me.  But I have a strong reason to write something today. 

The concluding statement of the last blog hits home:   “Godly purpose, a strong resolve to trust in God’s faithfulness—gifts of God for the people of God who like Joseph have partially perplexing and terribly trying seasons.”  Well, holding onto God’s faithfulness as Joseph did through his years of difficulty, has been very much a part of this writing break and years before.  Today I “heard” fresh encouragement worth sharing.

Needing to rest, finding time to read devotionals, to pray, is no problem.  Reading from a few devotionals gives me a place to start a prayer time and “listen” to what God might have to say to me in them.  Today, it seemed all four (the heat is on) clicked, so I asked my husband if we could look at them together, and then pray as we often do during the day.

Summarizing points, one spoke of how Jesus felt humiliated on the cross, mocked about being the “Son of God” who couldn’t get Himself off the cross.  We, too can be mocked for having a vital faith in a living Lord, Jesus.  Another emphasized the importance of worship, personal worship of God being part of what makes prayer more “informed” and infused by this communion with God.  In our Christian life, really making our loving commitment to Him stronger than anything else we love, even good things just overemphasized and tricky to discern.  Finally, one stressed humility and cited John the Baptist as an example.  Yet, even he, a mighty man of God who heard the His voice at Jesus's baptism, had a moment of doubt.  Wouldn’t we all—locked up in prison because of a hateful, vicious request for his head on a platter.  Jesus's reply to John’s messengers asking if He was really the One, was not one of criticism but encouragement, reminding John of what He had done—healing the sick and preaching to the poor,suggesting we can take our doubts to Jesus and hear assurance, too.

So, Jim and I began our prayer with worship, something we admitted we weren’t sure how to do.  As I attempted to begin, I remembered a person on“Show Me St. Louis” today (my husband featured,too) say that he started each day being thankful to God for something, an attitude adjustment I could use.  I then started worshipping God as the giver of everything good.  The first thing I thought was how much God had done to bring my husband and me to the time of doing exactly what we were doing. 

It’s a long story, but in a nutshell, we grew up a Catholic and a Presbyterian and continued going to church, occasionally with one another.  But when I became interested in the teachings of the charismatic movement in the 70s, our differences became our only real strains in marriage.  But after a long illness, I was open to hearing about a God who could do more than hold my hand and make me strong.  And as I searched the scriptures, this baptism in the Holy Spirit, though in ways foreign and unappealing, seemed valid in Bible times and meant to continue empowering believers.  I had prayer for this baptism and have seen the gifts, including praying in tongues, at work in my life and others.  Controversial but time for full disclosure here from Kay.

Although we are all always a work in progress—or not—this morning time with my husband was indeed one of God’s best gifts, one to worship Him for with much thanksgiving.

God-given resolve

               Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Coat—let me count the places my husband and I have seen this powerful story.  Last Saturday at the Fabulous Fox must be the 9^th or 10^th live production, beginning with a community presentation at Meramec Community College many summers ago. Seeing the show on the Goldenrod Show Boat certainly stands out on the list.  Wherever we have seen it, however, what remains the same is the catchy creativity and wonderful reminder of what is truly amazing:  God’s providential working for great good—no matter how impossible it may seem at times.

               The Biblical account of Joseph unfolds over 13 chapters in Genesis, beginning in chapter 37.  Jacob, a patriarch of the faith, has 12 sons and favors Joseph—never a good idea.  He gives Joseph this amazing colored coat while his brothers receive nothing.  Then Joseph tells his brothers about his dreams, “and they hated him even more” (Gen. 37:5).  As envy and jealousy set in, the brothers decide to kill Joseph.  Thus begins a pattern of Joseph rising and falling in various circumstances, finally chained and alone in an Egyptian prison.

               All the while, Joseph does not lose sight of God’s hand on His life and His faithfulness to achieve the good He has planned.  Even after betrayal, lies and mistreatment, he clings to his dreams and their inspiration.   While alone and chained in prison, Joseph sings “Close Every Door,” a stirring confession that no matter how persecuted and thwarted, God will prevail in it all.   A chorus of prisoners and the narrator then cheer Joseph on, singing:

               “Hey dreamer, don’t be upset

               Hey, Joseph, you’re not beaten yet . . .

               Don’t give up Joseph until you drop

               We’ve ‘read the book’ and you come out on top.”

               I love the “read the book” line.  Those of us who have read the Bible story do know that despite these terrible experiences, God’s going to put things in order and use Joseph to save many lives.  What gets Joseph out of jail is his God-given ability to interpret dreams—a very useful talent when Pharaoh is troubled about his own dreams featuring fat and skinny cows.    Joseph discerns that the cows represent seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.  Brilliantly, Pharaoh frees Joseph and promotes him to supervise storing up the surplus for later use.

               When the time of famine comes, Egypt has plenty for its people and also for others, including Joseph’s brothers who come for food.  They don’t recognize Joseph and are afraid when he finally reveals himself to them.  But he forgives them and sees God’s purposes in it all:   “you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive” (Gen. 50:20).

               As our church service began this last Sunday, the word “resolve” came strongly to my mind.  Later in the sermon, the pastor shared how her mother had a “strong inner strength.”  Webster defines resolve as “determination” and “a fixity of purpose.”  Joseph’s dreams gave him a sense of being “tapped by God” for a purpose at an early age.  Being shut out and closed in for years did not shake his resolve.    He knows that “Children of Israel are never alone . . . we have been promised a land of our own.” 

               Godly purpose, a strong resolve to trust in God’s faithfulness—gifts of God for the people of God who like Joseph have, at times, partially perplexing and terribly trying seasons.

God wants to be in the response

               “Call the Midwife,” a beautifully written PBS series, is set in a poor area of London after World War 11.  Anglican nuns, some who are midwives, live among the people and host and support young midwives who help in the clinic and at the deliveries usually in the ladies' homes.   Often the narratives and actual words of the characters are insightful and profound.

               Such is the case in a recent episode when the boyfriend of Jenny, one of the midwives, survives a bad fall but then dies suddenly a few days later.  As Jenny pours out her heart and despair, questioning where God could possibly be in all that has happened, the head nun has a gentle, striking reply:  “God is not in the event.  God is in the response to the event.”  She continues explaining that God is in the love and care demonstrated by those who “come alongside” to help those who are suffering.

               Annoyingly given to looking for improvement on many things, I would suggest God can be in the response to the event to the extent that we allow Him to be or even seek Him to be.  We hear the disasters on the evening news, we learn of a neighbor’s misfortune, we get “bad news” for ourselves or someone we love.  What is, what can be of God in our responses?

               After years of physical therapy and visits to various specialists, I heard the term Primary Lateral Sclerosis for the first time ever just recently.   It has been presented as an explanation for the increasingly painful and limiting stiffness and spasming in my lower body.  Thus the event.  On to the response.

               Chronically given to looking for Christian inspiration most anywhere—inspiring commercials and news stories,  and movies, lots of movies—I loaded up the DVD player and watched certain parts of “Under the Tuscan Sun.”  It is one of the few movies I have paid for when it first came out—that is how much it touched my heart from the start.  After a devastating divorce, the central character goes to Italy on her friends' tickets.   On a whim, she buys a very old villa in Tuscany and starts a new life including her work as a writer. 

               Soon she finds the venture more challenging than expected, but it is an encounter with a snake that “sends her over the edge.”  She calls the nice Italian man who sold her the house to check the room where she had seen the snake.  After she voices her general fears and frustrations, he tells her a story, a wonderful story about an impossibly steep section of the Alps called Semmering.  He continues about how people “built tracks to connect Vienna and Venice.  They built the train track even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip.  They built it because they knew someday the train would come.”  In my mind he was saying they built these tracks by faith, believing that a more powerful engine would be coming.   

               The church of the scriptures was endued with power from on high.  The saving, healing ministry of Jesus was continued among them just as Jesus said it would be.  “Signs and wonders” are to accompany “those who believe” (Mark 16:17), signs that include laying hands on the sick and seeing, actually seeing them recover.  Well, you might say “I’ve been working on the railroad” trusting that this same power is working in me.  By watching parts of that movie, I was seeking God to be in the response to this event in my life.  May God give all who seek the faith that is of God and comes from Him, faith to not be defeated by the event, but to see the full and mighty healing response of God to the event—just like in the old days.

Stepping back and listening

               In the winter of 1992, my father’s prostate cancer (diagnosed in 1989) “went on a rampage” to quote his oncologist.  He had emergency surgery to clear a bowel obstruction and to save his life.  For the next four weeks, he remained in the hospital and left with a permanent colostomy and a catheter to remain in place over the three months his doctor said he had left to live.

               As the only daughter, I had been a “major player” for some years with both mental and physical health issues  my parents faced.  And at each point of difficulty—and there were some bigtime points—I reached out and prayed for God’s counsel and saving intervention.  There are some impressive stories of God’s faithfulness to be “a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1) over those years.  But now this oncologist was telling me I should arrange for hospice care for my father and get my mother into some assisted living facility.

               Our family and friends had been praying, and there had been times I would wonder if the surgeon’s and doctor’s reports would ever contain anything good.  But—another one of God’s buts—as I had been in a Bible study one night, my attention fell to the story of the healing of the centurion’s servant in Mathew 8.  It especially “spoke” to me because my father did not give voice to any faith he might have had or to any prayer requests he might have wanted.  How did that factor in to what God would and/or could do for him?

               Nothing is known about the servant’s faith in this story.  What is known is that his condition is very serious, and the centurion cares enough about him to seek Jesus out, and he recognizes Jesus’s authority as he says, “only speak a word and my servant shall be healed” (Mat. 8:8).  The centurion also realizes his own unworthiness and the greatness of Jesus's power.  Having remarked about the centurion’s great faith, Jesus sends him on his way, adding, “as you have believed, so let it be done for you” (8:13).  

               This story, added to the “file cabinet” of God’s counsel and answers to prayer in the past, moved me more toward faith than fear in what the future might hold for my father.  I had already taken a pass on doing adjunct teaching that winter and along with others, continued seeking God for my father's healing and helping my parents.  My father slowly regained strength and after a few months, his oncologist was referring to him as his “miracle man.”  He was not dancing and leaping, but he was alive and able to enjoy most of the three additional years God gave to him.

               This last Tuesday, I had my weekly session with a physical therapist I have worked with periodically over the last three and a half years.  She has been my weekly “helper, prodder and encourager” since last October.  I shared with her the information from the two neurologists I had talked with since the week before.  At the end of our session, she asked me how I was feeling about these new, defining medical conversations—not a usual finish to our times together.  And this became my reply:  “I have heard what the medical information is, and now, I need to step back and hear what God has to say.”  And so, I am. 

              Every day I try to do this "listening," but now seems like an even more important moment to “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46).  It is His counsel, His instruction, His truth about it all that matters most.

 

Oh, happy day!

O, happy day (Oh happy day)

O, happy day (Oh, happy day)

When Jesus washed, He washed the sins away

He taught me how to watch, fight and pray

Fight and pray

And live rejoicing ev’ry day, e’ry day

Had the song been written, I think it might have been sung on that first Easter morning, perhaps by a heavenly choir.   Mary, Peter and another disciple had gone to the tomb where Jesus was buried and where their hopes for this man of God might have seemed buried, too.  But, the stone had been rolled away, and they were about to discover the great victory God had put together in what had appeared to them as certain defeat.  How could these joyous, melodious words they would have heard been true?  But it was, indeed, a happy day achieved by the faithfulness and power of God Himself.

How, you might be wondering, did I come up with the possibility of the song "Oh, Happy Day, (a 1967 gospel music arrangement by Edwin Hawkins), ringing out for any and all to hear on what would become our Easter morning?  The answer is simple:  viewing the last half of the movie Secretariat just yesterday afternoon.  Something I have teased my husband somewhat mercilessly about brought me back to seeing with “eyes of faith” that takes us beyond what this world throws at us. 

My husband has this interesting habit of checking out movies on television at whatever point in the story he happens to tune in.  Despite my suggestions that movies have a beginning, middle and end meant to be seen in that order for a reason, he still continues to delight in catching even a bit of a movie here and there.  I have recently brought it to his attention that starting times for movies at the theaters are printed in the paper for a reason.  Still, he continues his unusual viewing habits, and today I would add, thankfully so.

At the point we tuned in, Penney Tweedy, Secretariat’s determined owner, had been thwarted yet again as she tried to keep her father’s farm afloat and a horse’s promising chance for winning and winning big alive and well.  As she looks out over the stables and sees the horse’s groomer washing him down, she hears this gospel hymn playing on the groomer’s radio.  Somehow her spirits revive, and she joins in with the washing, perhaps ridding herself of this most recent setback.  She moves forward with her faith and determination that this horse has the potential to achieve not only winning the upcoming Kentucky Derby, but going all the way and winning the triple crown, something that had not been done for about 25 years.  And win it all she did with faith and courage after noting that you can’t earn a reward “without taking a risk.”

A troubling, painful and somewhat disabling medical condition finally getting a name—not the worst, but not the best—feels a little like Easter morning with its seeming disappointment, grief and disappearing hopes and dreams.  But like the record breaking horse, I have been “in training,” drinking in the living water and drawing deep into the well of faith and hope and trust, God-given virtues and strengths of God-seeking people so beautifully depicted in the scriptures.

Today we bought our own copy of the movie, and I watched it, start to finish, just to see how that works as opposed to “bits and pieces” viewing by someone I live with.  Stories of courage and hope that beat the odds can point us toward parallels in our Christian endeavors.  “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the substance of things not seen” as described in the well-known faith chapter in Hebrews 11.  Surely believing in God can be even more rewarding and joyous than believing in even the finest race horses.    

Holding on to good plans

               Growing up in a Protestant church, I was introduced to the Bible at an early age in Sunday school and vacation Bible school.  Children were given their very own Bibles around age 10.  But it was not until my 20s that I was encouraged by a friend to read the Bible and “listen” for God speaking to me in what I read.  By doing so over many years now, I continue to grow in my appreciation and understanding of what these “spoken words” reveal as one seeks intimacy and truth with a living Savior who wants to shepherd His people, each one known to Him by name.

               The many books of the Bible written over hundreds of years by people in different times, cultures and stations in life amazingly contain some very central themes and consistent characterizations of God and His ways.  For some years, I have noticed how God has plans—and they are good.  At a very difficult time in my life, I came upon Jeremiah 29:11 and its clear presentation of God’s plans being for good and not for evil.  Constantly, God encourages His people to make good choices, life over death, blessing over cursing, light over darkness, faith over doubt.

               Recently, I wrote about noticing two key things at the beginning of the story of Lazarus in John 11.  Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters, and God had a good plan that would bring Him glory.  It certainly didn’t look like anything good was in the works as Lazarus died and was buried in a tomb before Jesus arrived, but Jesus kept engaging the sisters to listen to Him and believe “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25).

               During this week’s prayer and share group discussion, we talked some about God’s plans.  We turned our attention to Joseph, the famous Joseph with the technicolor coat.  Good had a good plan for his life, but many years of hardship, including being dropped into a hole by his brothers and then sold to passing travelers, passed before he was taken out of jail to interpret Pharaoh’s dream.  The wisdom God gave Him to do this was recognized, and he supervised a plan to store up food before years of draught came.

               During the draught, his brothers traveled to Egypt for food.   After Joseph revealed his identity and forgave his remorseful brothers for what they had done to him, he told them, “As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring about as it is this day, to save many people alive” (Gen. 50:20).  God had a plan and a purpose which was to accomplish much good for many people.  What he always needs is someone to believe such things, especially when circumstances are troublesome and discouraging.

               In January, 2010, I wrote Billy Graham’s words from Day by Day in the front page of my Bible:  “Nothing takes God by surprise.  Everything is moving according to a plan, and God wants you to be in that plan.  The devil also has a plan for the world.  God has a plan, and the devil has a plan, and you will have to decide which plan you are going to fit into.” 

               God’s word tells us to seek Him, to listen to His voice, to ask for His wisdom to discern His plans in the midst of life’s ups and downs.  God wants to reveal “possibilities born of faith” as Mother Theresa called them, the good plans He hopes to bring about despite what can be the worst of life’s circumstances.  Gifts of faith and power to believe--these He longs to give us still.

Locked in or out is no problem for God

               What got me started thinking about a time many years ago when we realized our keys were locked in our van, I cannot tell you.  This event happened close to 20 years ago at a marina area in West Alton.  A couple my husband taught with owned a houseboat, and they had invited the staff to come for a shared meal and a ride on the large boat.  It was a nice, warm day—perfect for enjoying someone’s “hospitality” afloat.  Yes, perfect until we realized our keys were locked in our van.

                I do not remember if my purse was also in the car or if perhaps I hadn’t brought one that day, but there was no one anywhere with another set of keys—not a pleasant realization.  However, our “crisis” had a surprising and quick remedy.  One of the teachers at the marina had worked part time repossessing cars.  That line of work ended when people started shooting at him as he tried to drive their cars away.  The tool he used to make his “keyless entries” was still in his car, though.  It was a very slim, flexible, long device that he slipped down in the crease where the window went up and down in the door.  Within seconds, our car was unlocked, and we were back in business.

                So, why am I thinking about this one time we found ourselves locked out of a car?   Perhaps because I, like many others, face various life situations that can make us feel locked out, unable to gain access to the help or love we need and seek—from doctors, from companies, from people we know and care about, maybe even from God.  I have envisioned myself with bloody knuckles from banging on doors that don’t seem to budge day after day after day.  I would say we all are in need of someone with a “magic tool” from time to time.

                I certainly would not equate the tools of God’s kingdom with magic, but His thoughts, His ways, His means of breaking in and getting through are wondrously powerful—and so different than ours.  Before Saul became Paul, he was “breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord” (Acts 9:1).  He was locked in to his ideas about religion as a zealous Pharisee who had no intention of following this man called Jesus.  But a light shone on him as he journeyed to Damascus, and then Jesus spoke to him, asking, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” (Acts 9:4).  Just like that, his course was turned around and his zeal rightly directed toward the living God.  Who would have thought up that plot line for the persecutor of early Christians.

                Even more dramatic is the grand reversal we will celebrate this coming weekend.  Those opposed to Jesus, including many religious people of His day, thought they had it “locked up.”  Jesus had been nailed to a cross and died, then taken to a tomb.  A very large stone was placed over its opening and guards were stationed to keep the dead body of Jesus undisturbed.  But what the forces of evil had designed, and men had carried out could not lock out the grand purpose of God to redeem mankind.  The resurrection power of the living God brought Jesus back from the dead after He had gained the victory over sin and death. 

                So maybe the memory of the former car repossesser who rescued us that day so long ago has been a prodding to me by the Holy Spirit to keep looking up and to keep trusting in the ways and means of God to push through and bust open some of these doors I have been beating on. 

                 

Tempted in all points

             Writing the last post on Lazarus actually helped me clarify some striking gleanings from this amazing tale of God’s power: 

Jesus loved His friends, Lazarus and his two sisters. 

He also loved His heavenly Father, and He knew God had a good plan for His sick friend. 

Always one to speak directly, He challenged the sisters’ faith at their most vulnerable 

moments.

He grieved and felt sadness at Lazarus’s death just like the sisters and others.

He stuck with His father’s plan and spoke boldly, “Take the stone away.”

One “new” possible insight about the human Jesus came up at a recent Prayer and Share meeting I attend as we discussed this story in our continued study on the book of John.

               Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by Satan and his attempts to distract and lure Him from God’s path for His ministry and purpose on earth.  A very revealing verse in Hebrews 4:15 expands what the human Jesus experienced:  “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.”  The “without sin” part settles in easily; it is the “in all points” that seems surprising for someone like Jesus. 

               At times, I am tempted to feel fear and doubt even as I cry out to God when I face struggles and overwhelming difficulties.  Does that mean that those kinds of feelings even tempted Jesus during His ministry here on earth?  It seems to me that the writer of Hebrews is saying exactly that.  And if this is true, then perhaps little thoughts of fear and doubt nagged Him as He pressed on from start to finish with God’s good plan for Lazarus.  When Lazarus emerged from the tomb, still wrapped in grave clothes, this proof of God’s power over death perhaps was a “faith builder” for Jesus, too. 

               Numerous exhortations in the New Testament point out the need for building ourselves up—in faith, in knowledge, in love, etc.  The life of faith isn’t a one-time big gift.  It is a sustained seeking, a humble abiding in the words and the presence of the living God, and a great dependence on Him through His Holy Spirit for guidance, strength and patience to “pray and not lose heart” (Luke 18:1).  Jesus’s life illustrates this kind of daily walk with God as He spent time alone, even whole nights in prayer and fellowship with His Father.

               And so perhaps it is possible that when God’s power raised Lazarus from the dead according to God’s revelation to do so, that Jesus, too, was strengthened and edified in His humanness.  Lazarus came back to life; the faith in God that overcomes even death itself, death in this life as well as in eternity powerfully demonstrated itself.  The Father had revealed a good plan to Jesus where He would also need to be brought back to life by the power of the living God. 

Following God’s instructions and seeing His faithfulness time after time to heal, to deliver, to open blind eyes and set the captives free must have contributed to strengthening Him to remain “without sin” even when tempted to do otherwise.  He knows our frame and our need to draw near to God for faith that “overcomes the world” (1 John 5:4).  That's something worth considering and remembering.

 

A big if, a good plan

               Two facts are clearly presented from the very beginning of John 11 and the dramatic account of Lazarus’s illness, death and resurrection.  First, this man and his sisters knew Jesus personally and had demonstrated devotion to Him.  Mary had anointed Jesus’s feet with oil and wiped them with her hair.  The affection was mutual, revealed when the sisters sent word to Jesus, saying, “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.” 

               Secondly, God had a plan, a good plan from the very beginning.  When the sisters’ entreaty came to Jesus, He prophetically replied, “This sickness in not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (John 11:4).  So the very next detail is perplexing.  After saying Jesus loved Martha, her sister and Lazarus, He waited two more days before departing.  Shouldn’t the Godly response have been to get to the ones loved as quickly as possible?

               I have known this story since my early days of Sunday school and vacation Bible school.  But while studying John in an adult Sunday school four years ago, I felt particularly challenged by what happens next.  Both sisters encounter Jesus when he finally shows up, four days after Lazarus died.  They both tell Him if He had been there sooner, their brother would not have died.  But Jesus tries to keep them engaged, listening to Him as He challenges them with this question, “I am the resurrection and the life. . . Do you believe this?” (John 11:25,26).

               Before a second challenge, the very human Jesus sees the sisters and others weeping and is troubled, groaning in His spirit.  Standing at the tomb, John simply states, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).  As a man, he felt sadness at what all of them had been through.  But, as the Son of God, He moves to the next part of the plan, telling those at the tomb to “Take away the stone” (11:38).  Martha protests saying, “Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days” (11:39).  And here is the even more commanding challenge, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?” (11:40).   Jesus sticks with His father’s plan, and He wants them to join Him in believing it.

               That’s a big if, isn’t it—a big if for them and a big if for us.  Our “Lazarus stories” can span months, even years.  Like the sisters, we call on Jesus and believe in His power;  it appears nothing is working.  But Jesus asks us as He asked them, “Give Me something to work with.  Listen to what My father’s good plan is—and believe, believe with the faith and power only My Spirit can provide for you.”

               As many others, I know some of what those sisters were feeling, but I also know Jesus wants us to keep listening to Him, above all others.  What do we believe?  As I thought on this today and the many entreaties Jesus has made to me to press on toward what looks impossible, this is my response:

               I do believe in miracles, in the continuation of the ministry of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit.   It is not wishful thinking.  It is not a denial of the very “convincing” and discouraging reality around me.  Patient, persevering hope and faith come from God as we listen for His good plans and await their fulfillment. 

               Jesus asks us still, “I am the resurrection and the life . . . Do you believe this?”