In Stillness, Peace

          A simple line from Psalm 46 has redirected my fearful, frustrated thoughts that arise in life’s troubling circumstances or experiences for a long time.  Many years ago, a large sign with this sentence written in big, black letters was right at the entrance of the church we had taken my mother to, the same Presbyterian church I attended growing up.  This is the bit of God’s truth from the psalm:

          Be still and know that I am God.

another translation reads, Cease striving and know that I am God.  In other words, be calm, serence,  tranquil, and at rest or peace.  Look at the greatness of God, not that of whatever is before you.  Simple instructions but sometimes impossible to achieve if I go at it on my own.

          Turmoil, in the world, in our country, or as close as in our own family—everyone finds themselves in “troubled seas” at times.  For me, finding an inner peace or serenity, a calm and powerful expectation of good comes from allowing God to rearrange my thoughts and emotions.  Now were I a refugee in the Middle East fleeing destruction and having a very uncertain future, I would be faced with a greater physical challenge than I have ever personally known.  What would it take then to find peace in my circumstance and in my heart?  Let me just say, I can't imagine such a thing.

          Ironically, our lives can be drastically changed in a moment whatever our physical circumstance.  An AARP commercial that I have seen many times features a woman who tells us she is in her 60s.  Enthusiastically if not smugly, she talks about her “big plans” for the future, and all she has in mind to do.  I am still in my 60s but in a moment, the future I envisioned became radically altered when my husband suddenly died.  God’s peaceful presence is unwavering, unchanging "a refuge and strength, a present help in trouble" (from the opening sentence in that same psalm).His words settle my spirit, encouraging me to be patient and calm as I walk along this unexpected path.  I never tire of hearing His soothing words: be still and know that I am God.  

Well, indeed

             It is well with my soul.”  One would think Horatio G. Stafford, the author of this line that serves as title and refrain of a hymn written in 1873, was peacefully in the midst of everyday life circumstances.  Yet, just the opposite is true.  After suffering deep personal loss at the death of his only son and financial setbacks, this successful lawyer took his wife and four daughters to Europe to lift their spirits and participate in an evangelistic campaign in Great Britain.

            Before the return voyage, Mr. Stafford was detained by urgent business, so he sent his family back to Chicago, planning to follow them shortly.  Their ship set out across the Atlantic; two British vessels struck the ship, and it sank in 12 minutes.  His wife was among the few survivors, but his four daughters drowned along with 222 others.

            “It is well with my soul.” This summed up his description of the sustaining comfort God supplied to him as he crossed the Atlantic to join his wife in Wales and passed over the approximate location where the previous ship had sunk.  The first verse goes into even more detail of his actual circumstances and emotions:

            When peace like a river attendeth my way

            When sorrows like sea billows blow

            Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

            'It is well, it is well with my soul.

 

              It is well with my soul?  How could this possibly be true after a father experiences such loss?  How could any “blest assurance control” in the midst of one’s soul through his unimaginable loss?  These were my questions about the title and lyrics of this old hymn until the sudden death of my husband on August 15^th, 2017.  On what he indicated would be a “short ride,” Jim suffered a massive heart attack as he was heading back home and died suddenly.

            Probably in the next week, I told a close friend that I now understood how the writer of this old hymn was able to pen such words, write such a refrain after experiencing such deep loss.  I, too, had been given the assurance he spoke of that comes from a real, living faith in Christ and His promises of eternal life for those who believe.  There was peace in knowing Jim had a saving faith, one that played itself out in so many ways each and every day. 

            “It is well with my soul.”  This doesn’t mean I am not terribly sad or that I don’t miss him so many times throughout the day.  I’ve never lived alone before, but then I am not really alone.  The God of all comfort has ministered mightily to me.  I am known by Him just as Jim was.

          

Let the light shine

               When I taught at a community college in St. Louis, I wrote a quote on the blackboard every class period.  Usually, I didn’t even mention the quote during class, but I saw some students write down the words of encouragement to keep.  Every January, I shared these words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

A dark room becomes light when a source of light like an open door, drives out the darkness—simply, quietly.

               We mere mortals at times seem to be drawn to reacting to darkness in its nonliteral sense emotionally.  Unkind words, things done purposely to be hateful can tempt us to respond in hateful ways ourselves, just adding to the darkness.  The way of Christ, however, the light of the world, is to respond in love, thus allowing light and an opportunity for that kindness to make the darkness just a little lighter.

               My husband Jim was a great doer of good, a vessel of light and life, during the 69 years he lived, 47 of which I knew and loved him.  There was not one day that I doubted his love for me.  He was truly passionate about spreading love and light wherever he was, sometimes in very funny and creative ways.  He actually did spread “fake news” when he started having “fake news conferences” to liven up a county office where he started working after retiring from teaching physical education and coaching track and cross country.  He pretended to be the county supervisor and made up funny “news” to broadcast through his fake microphones.  A new friend made in the last two years living in Charleston, Illinois, shared that his passing on August 15^th “made the light a little dimmer in the world.”

               We all have choices as we live out our lives.  Will we add to the darkness around us, the hate that can come against us, or will we choose to offer light in a world in such need of it.  Jesus would have us let His light shine through us as it did through Jim.

Remembering Daniel this August

                August has been the “month of Daniel” since 1977, but this year,  I have thought of it through the words of Charles Dickens: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . . it was the season of light, it was the season of Darkness . . . “ (A Tale of Two Cities).  August that year moved from one extreme to another, at times so quickly.

               That August, 1977, my husband Jim, Daniel and I had survived difficult days, and I would give the power of God and answered prayer much credit.  Daniel was almost at the 28^th week mark, the doctor’s goal during the weeks filled with “the worst of times,” including what should have been a miscarriage at about 11 weeks and a threateningly early arrival in the hospital where I spent a night in labor and delivery around his 21^st week.  Amazingly, he hung on—we all did—until a late Thursday afternoon on August 11, right at 28 weeks.  He weighed in at 3 lbs. 13 ounces.

               I only saw him briefly that night before he was taken to Children’s Hospital since he had life-threatening lung issues.  A weekly Thursday night prayer meeting I often attended lifted him up that Thursday night.  The next day my pediatrician told me, “Last night I wasn’t sure he would make it out of the woods, but today he is doing so well.”  With delight, my brother brought a birthday cake to the hospital, celebrating what felt like the best of times. 

But the celebration was short-lived.  After I got released from the hospital, baby Daniel aspirated just as we arrived to visit him.  There were no good days after this, only crisis-ridden time with him.  He had emergency abdominal surgery complicated by pneumonia as he fought to recover.  The last two days of his life his little body was so swollen and distorted a nurse told us, “I’m so sorry you have to see him like this.”  Meningitis was discovered during the autopsy, the final blow to steal his chance to come home to join our family.   

Today, 40 years later, we will celebrate his life, brief but a tribute to God’s power and love to keep His children through days of danger and the threat of despair.  We will be forever thankful for the powerful comfort of His Holy Spirit, comfort we can now share with others.  Curiously, Daniel died on a Sunday night; about 2 ½ years later, our healthy, full term son David Daniel entered the world before 6 am on a cold Sunday morning in March with spring just around the corner.

 

                

              

              

              

 

 

 

Being Present for those in Need

How wonderful it would be if we were born with an arsenal of life experience information to tap into as we begin our time on earth.  Teenagers might not think they really do know more than their parents.   Instead of trying to imagine another’s life, we would actually know how it might feel to be shot and paralyzed as one of my students was.  Hopefully, such knowledge would be used for us to become more helpful, more insightful human beings in our dealings with one another.

For parents, losing a child is one of the worst things imaginable.  Often, we are at a loss of what to say or what do when someone we know actually does have a child die, especially if the circumstances seem especially painful.  In recent weeks, here in Charleston, a healthy teenager was killed instantly in a car crash, and grief has moved in so swiftly and painfully.

Our son died after only 17 days and had done battle with impending destruction even before he was born.  I should have miscarried at 10 weeks, delivered him short of 24 weeks and failed to carry him to that 28 week goal.  Upon entering the world at 28 weeks, he suffered great lung distress but again, the “great grace of God” had him “out of the woods” the next day.  By the time he died, he had endured more than one fatal blow which added to the tragedy of such loss.

Although no two losses are alike, there are some assumptions I can put to rest.  Because people don’t know what to say, often some cliché is passed along, like “God must have needed another angel,” or “everything happens for a reason,” etc.  Try to avoid falling into this trap.  A genuine “I’m so sorry,” and/or a hug will be more comforting.  In time, we might avoid mentioning the child thinking we will keep the parents from thinking about their loss.  Trust me.  Their thoughts are permeated with the loss and the experience of it for a long time.  Talking about the child (at an appropriate moment) who has died can actually help keep that person “alive” in our memories.

As people go on with their lives, it is easy to forget we can still show kindness weeks after a funeral.  Just being present in some way with people who are hurting for some reason—stopping by with a cobbler and a friendly chat, making a phone call to ask and listen to how someone is doing or feeling, an invitation to meet at a restaurant or even better, offering  a meal in your home.  The list could go on and on.  Don’t let fear of doing or saying the wrong thing keep you from “being present” with others in need.   Let us not forget our fervent prayers for one another can accomplish much (James 5), comfort and healing beyond our acts of human kindness.

Compassionate interruptions

      Good works, faith, prayer, good neighboring—how does it all work?  As Christians, we all are called to seek God for understanding, insight and direction on these important aspects of our everyday lives as Christians.  Perhaps there is one simple thing to glean from Jesus’s explanation of loving our neighbors in the Good Samaritan story (Luke 10:25-37).

            The passage begins with God’s call to love Him and our neighbors fully, with all our hearts, souls, strength, and minds.  And the question arises, “Who is my neighbor?”  This question comes from an “expert in the law . . . (who wanted) to justify himself.”  My take on that wording is that the man didn’t want to love any more than he had to.  So Jesus, as He often does, tells a story, one that has become quite familiar to us, that illustrates the answer to this question.

            On the road to Samaria, a man was robbed, beaten and left unclothed and half dead on the side of the road.   Two men, a priest and a Levite who one would expect to stop, saw the man but passed by going on with their plans that day.  The third man, a Samaritan, representing impure Jews and less likely to help, saw the man and “took pity” on him.  Neglecting his own plans for the day, he stopped and tended to his wounds.  He put the stricken man over his donkey and took him to an inn.  Then he gave the innkeeper money for a room, asking him to look after the injured Samaritan.  In a few days he would return to check on the poor man and to give the innkeeper any more money needed for his time there.

            Jesus drove home his powerful point by asking, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to this man . . . "(10:36)?  The law expert said, “the one who showed mercy.”  Jesus then exhorted them to “go and do the same" (37).  The story clearly shows God wants His heart of compassion to be ours, too, so we can impartially love others and through this, love God (1 John 4:7-12). 

            What strikes me about these travelers is that each was just going about their daily business.  They weren’t “signing on” for good works:  teaching Sunday school, helping at a food pantry, going on a work camp, attending Bible study, etc.  Each man looked upon the injured man, but only one interrupted whatever he was on his way to do and gave of himself and his resources to show mercy and compassion, the love of God, to this man.  How many people in need do we even notice and if so, go farther and give them aid personally.

            Many opportunities come our way each day, both typical “church works” and ones that seem to “come looking for us” as we go about our days’ activities.  May we, too, demonstrate the love of Christ and give of ourselves just as the Samaritan did.  

Taking time to Encourage one Another

               Twice a week is our current number of visits to the university Fitness Center.  The workout actually begins before we even show our membership cards because upon entering, one has to go down about two open flights of stairs and then climb right back up again to the area where we exercise.  As I made my way up one day, a man going down on the other side said to me, “One hundred percent determination,” and repeated it.  At that moment, I felt he was acknowledging my neurological challenges (weakness and spasticity below the waist) and encouraging my efforts to “keep at it.”

               Sometimes we forget how much good just a few kind words, spoken or written, or some kind gesture can do.  A beginning to offering encouragement is to notice others and care about them.  Then one needs to act on this in some way.  The man who spoke to me apparently had noticed me walking around with a cane and wanted to commend me for exercising regularly.  Several others at our “casual exercise club” (Fitness Center folk) have offered praise and encouragement to me, also. 

               Ian Maclaren, a minister and writer in Great Britain in the late l870s, is often quoted for this insight:  Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting some hard battle.”   Some difficulties are not as obvious as others, like chronic pain, addiction, significant debt, bankruptcy, grief, illness, and abuse at home.  But whatever the difficulty, God wants us to respond in helpful, encouraging ways.  The love chapter in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13)s begins by stating, “Love is patient; love is kind.”

               The Greek word paraklesis means encouragement, consolation, comfort, exhortation and entreaty, and frequently appears in the scriptures.   Barnabas, one of the apostles, was called the son of encouragement (Acts 4:36) as he sold a field and freely gave the money to the apostles’ needs.  Such an affirming action was part of how he earned this title.  When other apostles responded with fear and suspicion of Paul, doubting he was a disciple, Barnabas showed kindness and encouragement.  He introduced him to the group, validating Paul’s experience after his miraculous conversion and preaching with power (Acts 9:27).

               In 1999, Martin G. Collins shared this concern: “As society puts more distractions before us, encouraging others is becoming a lost art” (The Forerunner publication).  Especially among younger people, it seems that “being busy” is common in America today, even seen by some as an indication of one’s importance.  Yet, Paul encourages us “to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life” (1 Thes. 4:11).  In other words, keep it simple, focusing on what is important in our lives of faith.

               Let’s consider becoming like brothers and sisters to Barnabas, freely offering genuine kindness and encouragement to one another. 

Mother and her Green Dishes

                Mother’s green dishes have always been special and perhaps reveal some of her best qualities.  At a young age, I welcomed the occasional opportunities I had to eat pudding in a special stemmed glass or have tea parties using the cups and saucers.  These green dishes, known as Depression Glass, had been available in the late 20s to the early 40s, even before my mother’s birth in 1942, and had been collected and kept in her family over the years.  Many pieces came from gas station or movie theater sales as incentives to spend what little money people had.

                But somehow, a vast assortment of the glassware came to be housed in mother’s corner hutches and good-sized buffet.  The times she proudly used them were for church daytime circle meetings or for women’s PTA gatherings in our dining room.  Curiously, I don’t know why we never used them for special occasions ourselves, although the fairly inexpensive glassware came to be of some value.

                Mother, like many women in our neighborhood and in that time, was a stay-at-home mom.  She was very involved in grade school activities and participated in many ways at our church, easily within walking distance.  Although I earned a teaching degree, my personal aspirations and activities as a young mother were much like hers.  After teaching high school English four years, I willingly stayed home as our three children were young and therefore, also had the opportunity to join the mothers’ club and be even more active in Christian activities, not always connected to a particular church.

                At the age of 20 after my older brother’s birth, mother began to experience what would be called post partem psychosis today, later to be identified as manic depression.  How her life would have been different apart from this serious health issue will never be known.  I once asked a young psychiatrist how we can know where the illness ends and the character begins; he struggled with the same distinction.  But as I became a teenager, I knew I purposely would not be like her in some ways.  For example, she did not manage household issues well, like getting the laundry done or keeping the house clean which became a source of contention with my father. 

                So much has been discovered about the brain and the chemical make-up that affects our behavior.  I’m sorry my parents had to struggle through shock treatments and other therapies during times when resources were so much less and the social stigma—that still remains to a degree—so much greater on such health issues.  However, despite these hardships in my family, I am thankful for mother’s good qualities, including her social friendliness, her constancy toward God, and her willingness to have fun and use those green dishes even for our private parties.   

Called

The only thing necessary for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.

                                                                                                               Edmund Burke

 

CBS This Morning is the news show that often plays on our television during breakfast.  Frequently, authors are interviewed while on tour to promote their books.  When Chelsea Clinton was interviewed about the new paperback edition of It’s Your World (A children’s book), she spoke about how each child can and should make a difference in the world.  She also told stories of children who have already made an impact and had ways and ideas for the readers to consider getting more involved themselves.  Being a citizen brings a “call to action every single day,” she stated.

My husband and I moved from St. Louis, our home of 60+ years, to Charleston, Illinois, where our daughter and her family live and work at Eastern Illinois University.  Illinois is now on its second year of budget impasse, something that is “starving universities and agencies around the state.  Last night, we attended a “town hall” with a poster picture shadow of Rep. Shimkus, who sadly chose not to come (he prefers to meet constituents one-on-one), passing up a real opportunity to hear the voices of some people he claims to represent.  But he did not deny us the opportunity to listen to one another and to Mr. John Spoerer, who will be opposing him in 2018 and very willingly responded to issues presented.  As citizens, we need to stay informed about our government both here in Illinois, nationwide and around the world.  Apparently, a democracy is more fragile than I would have believed; we need to be vigilant and active in ways that we can.

This “call to action” is also applicable to those of us who believe in God and His call to serve Him and others.  One particular act of faith that often gets too little attention is the act of praying, individually and with other believers.  For Christians, Jesus set an example of a life of prayer, and the Bible writers exhorted us to pray “without ceasing” and believe in God’s power, a power even greater than the terrible evil operating worldwide as we see displayed on the evening news.

Let’s all be faithful to respond to “the call,” as citizens and as people of faith in God.

Being Devoted

            Some years ago, our daughter took tennis lessons through the local summer youth program.  Athletic endeavors don’t come easily to her, so her father, a physical education teacher and coach, devoted himself to helping her improve her skills.  They would regularly go to the tennis court close to our house with a bucket of balls and determined attitudes to do extra work on needed skills.  After regular practice sessions, Bonnie played well enough to be on the tennis team all four years in high school and became one of the better players.

            It is not unusual for people to devote themselves to something or someone.  However, our highest devotion as Christians should be to Jesus Christ and to growing in our faith lives.  Recently, when I turned on a Christian radio station, right away I heard these words:  “Devote yourselves to prayer alert in it with thanksgiving” (Col. 4:2).  The first four words, though simple, are a strong instruction from Paul, setting what should be a priority in our private and public Christian lives.  Synonyms for devote provide more insight:  loyal, faithful, true, steadfast, staunch, and constant.  Clearly, prayer is to be a major component of our regular approach to God with praise, thanksgiving, and petitions.

            The scriptures describe Jesus as a man of prayer.  Sometimes He spent whole nights in prayer as He did the night before He chose His disciples (Luke 6:4).  On the eve of His greatest test-- to yield to God’s plan for Him to die a painful death--Jesus even took a few disciples to join His prayers to avoid temptation.  In addition, He told us not to be showy in prayer but quite the opposite.  In Mathew 6, Jesus describes the need to pray in secret, saying to go into our closets to pray.  But, He promised to reward such prayer openly.  Every time Jesus speaks of prayer, He also speaks of its power, such power to even move mountains or obtain what is viewed as impossible in human terms.  Miracles display God’s compassion and wonderful power, blessing us and proving God’s existence and goodness.

            Consistent times of prayer and study require self-discipline, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit.  Using the word “devotion,” shows us God expects faithful Christians to make serious commitments to be people of prayer and a church of prayer.  In these times, perhaps more than ever, we need the wisdom God will supply to navigate our lives, to discern truth, and to pray effectively.  Let us rise to the occasion and “be devoted to prayer” as Paul asks.   

Staying the Course

              Some years ago, as I was returning from a trip to Louisville, KY, I paid close attention so I wouldn’t miss the exit for Interstate 255 from Highway 64.  As the exit appeared, I became unsure of which direction to choose: Chicago or Memphis.  I chose Memphis.

Soon I questioned the wisdom of that choice.  Exits and places along the highway just did not seem familiar.  Then I thought I would look for the Arch, a landmark I could spot and get my bearings from.  When I saw that St. Louis masterpiece, I knew I was headed in the wrong direction.  A reversal of direction and I was headed home once again.

I’ve heard people speak of our Christian lives being like a journey.  Daily, we are faced with choices, those of little consequence and those that are life-changing.  Sometimes, we get confused and wonder if we have lost our way.  To what do we look to make sure we are on the narrow way of faith?  What stands above all else to right our course?

There are clear directives in the Bible to keep us on the Godly path.  In the New Testament, John the Baptist was sent to “make ready the way of the Lord” (Luke 1:3).  John called on people to repent of their sins and watch for the “One who is mightier than I” (Luke 1:7).  Then Jesus Himself said, “Come to Me . .  . take my yoke upon you and learn of Me” (Mathew 11:28).

Getting right and staying right require that we “fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith” (Heb. 12:2).  His life, His words, and the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit to instruct and empower us are the mainstays of a Christian life that stays on the right path.

             When Jesus called His disciples, He asked them to “Follow Me” (Mark 1:17).

 

  His directions remain the same.  Will we follow?

 

Not just reading but seeking God in His Word

               Many read the Bible, doing so in different ways, for different reasons, and with different outcomes.  Before leaving St. Louis, I attended a very good and diverse women’s study group.  More than five denominations were represented and the ladies had varying familiarity with the Bible.  One lady somewhat boastfully mentioned that she read the entire Bible out loud every year for more than 25 years.

            One morning during a discussion at the study, an exchange between this woman and another leading the group led to the yearly reader slamming her Bible shut, making some short remark and leaving the room in a huff.  I could see how the leader’s handling of the exchange contributed to the lady’s anger, but I could not see how stomping out of the room and never returning, even after a few women contacted her, were a Christian's response to that moment of conflict.  I don’t know what her reasons were for her annual readings; she did know a lot of Biblical information, but her actions that day and after missed the mark on the Christian’s call to walk in forgiveness and love. 

            In my 20s during a difficult period, a teacher I worked with encouraged me to read the Bible and underline—how shocking—anything that caught my attention, or spoke to my heart.  That was the beginning of what would become a more life-changing, faith-building approach to Bible reading, study and prayer.  Seeking Jesus, His voice, His words of counsel and receiving the hope and faith they can bring carried me through the months of grief after our second baby died after only 17 days of life.  Also, the stories of faith and the power of the Holy Spirit brought me to an assurance, an expectation that trusting in God, I could have another son, a healthy one, and I did.

            In 2013, after years of bouncing around to various specialists and rounds of physical therapy, I was diagnosed with a rare neurological disorder causing spasticity and weakness in my hips and legs. Medically, there is no treatment or cure, only attempts to manage the uncomfortable soreness, stiffness and spasms.  As I begin this new year, what has sustained me and given me hope for physical healing in the past remain.  These words in Isaiah 40:30 are just a few of what have fed this hope and expectation of future good:  But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary: and they shall walk and not faint.

Waiting on God itself implies an expectancy of receiving good from Him, and so, I wait.  Just walking normally, unassisted and without pain, would be the emergence of the promise in these words and the faithfulness of God to do the “impossible” as He blesses His children.  May it be so for me and many others in 2017.  Wait on the Lord; be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart.