Both of our
children left St. Louis to begin programs in graduate schools at cities—one as
far away as New York--where they knew no one.
That kind of change makes everything new. I, on the other hand, have lived in St. Louis
my entire life except for three years in college. Even when I went to Mizzou, I knew a few
people there, including my older brother and his girlfriend. However, with all this stability in my adult
life, I have felt a bit of being “the new person” at a new job or a new
neighborhood or a new church or activity.
It is not a feeling I particularly enjoy. Clearly, my children have not gotten their
courage and drive from me!
The last few months I have
remembered some of the reasons why I don’t like being new. I have again become someone new in a couple
situations, one being the exercise class I “checked out” just last week. As I was mulling over (what I refer to as “mental
whining”) the disadvantages of such situations, I believe God brought back an
encouraging memory of my experience as a college senior. Unlike many people I knew at the time who
started college at UMSL back in its infancy in the late 60s, I spent three
years at Mizzou and then returned to St. Louis to finish at UMSL and do my
student teaching here.
I do not have a lot of specific
memories about this time or that, but I have a very clear memory of one of my
first days at UMSL, my new school. At
some point, I went to the girl’s restroom and had a little meltdown in one of
the stalls. Our three- year- old
grandson has occasional meltdowns which
do seem more justified. But, this change
of school led to a friendship, and that new friend arranged for me to have a
blind date with another student teacher who was her boyfriend’s friend, and this man would
become my husband. He and I celebrated
our 40th anniversary just last summer, and these same friends were
kind enough to invite us to dinner to mark the occasion. We should have been treating them!
I think God reminded me of this
experience from many years ago as an encouragement to look forward and
anticipate good possibilities. Some
years ago a prayer attributed to Mother Theresa made the rounds in people’s
emails. One of the lines that has stuck
with me speaks volumes about the expectations we can have as Christian
people: “May you not forget the infinite
possibilities that are born of faith.”
Trusting God, seeking out His providential hand of guidance in our
lives, can create hopes and expectations outside of what seems humanly
possible. The Bible is full of amazing
God-given expectations coming to fulfillment.
Abraham and Sarah looked for that child of promise, David believed he
could win over Goliath through God’s power, Paul expected a deliverance from
the terrible storm at sea for himself and his men—the list could go on and on.
I was also reminded that “small
beginnings” (Zech. 4:10) in the hands of God can lead to blessings,
possibilities beyond our greatest hopes.
Again, God encourages me to be patient and remember that new endeavors
and activities can lead to wonderful gifts and blessings.
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