Kindness, An Underrated Virtue

            At times, I have felt like a rejected door-to-door salesman visiting new patients at Missouri Baptist Health Center as a volunteer for the Pastoral Care program.  From the very start of each visit, I get a strong impression of what the response will be as I share my information about spiritual offerings.  Despite the clear occasions of rejection, there are always moments that make me so glad that I have come to do this every month.

            Today’s highlight—and possibly this year’s top encounter—came about mid-morning when I walked into a room where two patients were happily visiting seated across the room by the window.  I knew these women were both the patients because each one had on a highly fashionable hospital gown.  The younger lady, in her mid-fifties, quickly let me know that her roommate, an impressive 91 year- old, had significant hearing loss.  We proceeded with my efforts to talk louder while we all got a little better acquainted.  Both women were quite cheerful and obviously enjoying the visiting going on.

            People have such interesting stories and some can be quite moving in different ways.  The lady closing in on 100 shared just a little, mostly praising her hard-working doctor.  Life had been rather eventful for her roommate.  After 28 years with a St. Louis company, both she and her husband were fired right after the new owner took the reins.  She was about to go home from the hospital after a relatively minor procedure, but there is a larger health issue that is being monitored.  Not exactly where she expected to be at this point in life, I would imagine.

            However, along with her husband, she is moving to a new city and making a new beginning.  Part of the draw to this particular Midwest city is that a daughter and her 14-month old child are already living there.  I felt like saying, “You go, girl,” but that is not really something I ever say.  What I did do was cheer her positive outlook, commending her moving on and looking forward, not back.  Part of my enthusiasm for her attitude stems from my own job loss, a part-time position I had been in for 19 years, now four years ago.  I referred to this as getting “deleted” from the screen.  She seemed drawn to this computer analogy maybe because she was a computer whiz in her former life.

            When I walk out of a patient’s room, I usually make a short notation on the printouts we are given in preparation for the short totaling slip we fill in before we leave the hospital.  Standing in the hall, I overheard the ladies’ continued conversation and thought about how great it is that someone experiencing such undesired work and personal circumstances was so ready to be kind and compassionate to a woman who had been a stranger no more than a day earlier.  Surely this “adoption” is part of what Jesus describes when He explains how He separates the goat from the sheep as those who see a stranger and “take” them in (Mat. 25:34-40).

            I have commented on more than one occasion that simple kindness is a highly underrated virtue.  One of the first things I noticed when I met the man our daughter married was his kind and gentle manner.  Today’s encounter with these women was another time I was struck by this quality in others.  In Psalm 19:1, the firmament is described as the “handiwork” of God.  I would add that kindness from the heart expressed from one person to another is certainly  God’s handiwork, also.  Both can be beautiful to behold.

Clothed in Christ

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              As I recall, it was my daughter who first “introduced” me to the show, “What Not to Wear” on cable TV a few years back.  During each episode, two young, stylish hosts take on some poor, fashion-challenged adult and attempt to drag the poor soul out of whatever rut she is in and bring her up to date.  Often the candidate has been brought to the attention of the show by a daughter or friend.

The program usually starts with the hosts actually going through the candidate’s closet, item by item, explaining why each piece of clothing is no longer suitable and then throwing it away in a large trash can.  It is actually a little painful to watch their “victim” as she reluctantly watches some old favorites—and I emphasize the adjective “old” here—leaving her possession.

            I will say by the end of the show, the transformation in appearance is rather amazing.  After shopping for new clothes, the freshly clad lady is then put into the hands of make-up and hair styling experts.  In the final scene, the fashionable and newly confident individual walks into a room of friends who cannot believe what is right in front of their eyes.  The whole process—I must confess—is fun to watch. 

            This morning a devotion reading reminded me of this show and presented a spiritual kind of “makeover” Christians should willingly submit to.  Being followers of Jesus Christ does not keep us from feeling grumpy, discouraged, angry or even unforgiving.  We can get into ruts of poor thinking and less-than-loving living.  Thankfully, God does not leave us to grapple with these feelings and temptations on our own.   We can come into God’s presence and be made new, transformed into the likeness of Christ.

Paul instructed the Colossians to “Put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering . . . but above all things, put on love” (Col. 3:12,14).  We are to be new creations, cleaned out and properly attired—far from the lights and cameras of cable TV!

Running the race--by faith

             I have “dabbled” in water aerobics over the years at various locations and just recently began anew at a retreat center practically out my back door!  The class of mostly older ladies is small, but the pool is a nice size with one of the long walls made entirely of windows.  This wall of white light showcases the view of grass and evergreens just outside and toward the back area of the property.  If you are picturing a soothing and peaceful setting, you are on the right track.

            Water in its varied presentations in nature and man-made forms has always attracted me.  Perhaps looking out over stretches of rivers, lakes and oceans makes me feel more connected to God as our creator.  In the rushing falls of Niagara to the quiet beauty of a hidden cove, I sense God’s greatness and soothing power.

            But I digress--back to the present and aerobics.  This last exercise class as I exited on the steps in the shallow end of the pool, I became aware of feeling so much heavier, especially in moving my legs which are fairly stiff.  Water does have a freeing element, it seems.  One feels lighter and stronger, enabled in ways that our usual experience of gravity prevents.  In other words, I felt very “weighed down” stepping out one slow step at a time.

            As I thought on this, I was reminded of a verse in Hebrews, one I have appreciated in various ways over the years.  “ . . . let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith” (Heb. 12:1,2).  Clearly, sin in its various forms from actual deeds to wrong and stubbornly willful words and  intentions impedes our ability to stay on the faithful and believing course that God calls us to.  At the root of this whole issue of faith and obedience is the condition of our hearts, hearts that can turn toward God and walk with Him but even then fall victim to unbelief. 

Consider these words written for believers:  “Beware, brothers lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God,” (Heb. 3:12).  We need that ongoing presence of the Holy Spirit.  We need to be listening to God’s still, small voice, humbly acknowledging how dependent we are on God for what only He can give:  faith, hope and love in the midst of life’s difficulties.  Jesus describes this infilling presence as a life abiding in the true vine, adding that “without Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

    The story of Lazarus is such a great illustration of the good will and power of God even when it appears that the entreaties and prayers of the dead man’s sisters, Martha and Mary, have been of no avail.  Their brother is dead, sealed off in a cold tomb by the time Jesus arrives.  Martha even tells Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21).  But her very next words suggest a remnant of hope:  “But even now, I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give you” (11:22).  Jesus then tells her that despite the appearance of things, her brother will “live again.”

She could have remained angry and resentful.  She could have avoided Jesus all together since He didn’t save her brother.  He didn’t come soon enough to really make a difference in the progression of the disease.  She, however, remains engaged with Jesus, taking in what He is saying to her, including this claim and an accompanying question:  “I am the resurrection and the life.   He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live . . . Do you believe this?” (15:25,26).  And when Martha worries about the stench that will come from the tomb when Jesus asks that the stone be moved away, Jesus asks the same question another way.  “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” (11:40).

Jesus knew the end of this story from the beginning.  When He first heard that Lazarus was sick, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (15:4).  During Jesus’s earthly life, He often told the disciples what would be happening in the future.  He told them about his death and the coming of the Holy Spirit “before it comes, that when it comes to pass, you may believe” (John 14:29).

This life that can be lived apart from the weight and entanglements of sin and beyond the limits of our very real unbelief is possible only “by faith” as it was to those who have come before us.  Many, many times since I first was struck by the central question Jesus asks these grieving sisters, I have heard that still, small voice of God beckoning me, also, to believe in the overcoming power of God—no matter what.   

A process . . . of faith

               Please take a few minutes to picture this.  Just today in the waiting area of the pharmacy in my local Walgreens, I was “testing” (by putting it on a chair and sitting on it) the softness of a circular dog bed I just happened to see on the end of an aisle.  Thank God, no one was picking up a prescription nor was anyone working at the counter.  And then . . . the manager of the pharmacy department, a very nice looking woman in her 40s, I would say, was coming toward me to take her place back behind the counter.  Feeling like I needed to offer some explanation, I just said I was checking out how firm the cushion was.  It did seem softer than the chair cushion I have been using because of a painful, multi-layered chronic pain in one buttock.

               Holding the cushion, I stepped up to the counter to pick up a prescription, the real business of my being there.  The manager was behind the counter at this point, and as she began to check me out, she said, “You do know that the cushion is for a dog.”  I’m sure she sees all kinds of things go on as she works with the public every day, but this cushion maneuver might have been a first for her.  Somewhat embarrassed, I briefly spoke of the pain problem I have been having way too long.  She did at that point note how what was for a dog could provide some relief for me.

               That is the funny part—ok, funny and humbling—but here’s the real value of this encounter for me today.  About two or three months ago, I was at the same Walgreen store and stepped to the question window at the pharmacy.  This manager came to help me, and I became aware that she was not her usual, healthy-looking self.  My impression was that she was battling some kind of cancer.  I have thought about her since then and prayed for her healing.  When I stood across from her today, she looked so much more herself with her own hair, so I told her I was happy to see her appearing to feel so much better than a few months before.  She indicated she is feeling better and then added, “It’s a process,” and I sensed a hopefulness in the way she said it.

               As I continued to rejoice in my heart at her improvement, I also began thinking that faith in God’s promises can also be a process that should be based on God-given hope, assurance, and expectations of good.  One of my favorite and most encouraging scriptures in the New Testament is a passage in Romans 4:18-21 about Abraham being a “father of many nations” when he and Sarah weren’t even producing any offspring of their own.  The word “process” is not used, but clearly, something that happened over time is described:   

(Abraham) in hope believed . . . not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old) and the deadness of Sarah’s womb.  He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving  glory to God and being fully convinced (persuaded) that what He had promised He was also able to perform.

Over the years between God speaking His promise to Abraham and the child being born, Abraham and Sarah tried to help God along—don’t we all.  But, at the same time, he was submitting to the process of God’s spoken promise becoming the thing promised by being strengthened, getting persuaded, not giving up on God even during the years of waiting.  The well-known faith chapter in Hebrews reveals something similar going on with Sarah:  “By faith, Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised” (Hebrews 11:11). 

“By faith” is a spiritual process which should be initiated by God “speaking” in His still, small voice.  Every part of the process should be God-supplied; the hope, the assurance, the expectation of good all should be stirred up in us by the living presence of the living God.  Truly amazing, “impossible” things can come to pass if we will with faith and patience wait for them.  In the meantime, you might find me checking various types of cushioned devices in your neighborhood store but otherwise working really hard to appear normal.