Revealing a Secret Longing

               During the 16 years I tutored in a St. Louis community college writing center, we often celebrated the spring semester’s end with a bar-b-que at a nearby picnic area.  One year, Mickey, a truly free-spirited tutor a little older than I, suggested a game to play at the picnic.  On a piece of paper, each tutor needed to answer this question:  if we could do or have one thing before we died, what would we choose?  After writing down our answers, we were to place them in a tin.  At the bar-b-que, answers would be drawn out and read. Then we all would guess who had written each answer.

               Upon hearing Mickey’s question, something immediately came to my mind.  Realizing it was “outside the norm” gave me some hesitation about sharing it.  I would be speaking more boldly than I usually do and revealing a fairly secret longing.  I have read books whose authors might answer something similar, and some even had seen such things before they died.  However, all of these authors are dead, so they weren’t playing such games that exposed inner desires.

               Because my secret wish came to mind so quickly, I decided honesty should be the overriding consideration, so I wrote my answer and waited for the game to begin at our casual, outdoor potluck.  A few answers preceded mine.  When it was read, I can’t say I was particularly surprised that nobody had to think real hard to figure out it was me.  Once a full-time professor I didn’t know very well came to my office to see if I happened to have a Bible on my shelf.  As it happened, I did, but the fact that he sought me out was interesting and somewhat intriguing.

               What, you are wondering, did this brave tutor write?  All right—that is an overstatement of my character traits.  In my early adult years, I had been influenced by the charismatic movement and absorbing scriptures that encouraged and inspired me.  All of these brought me to the belief that the Christian church, consisting of many bodies of believers around the world, should be exhibiting the power and compassion of God with preaching and effective teaching, praying for and receiving miracles, and loving sacrificially.  So what was on my piece of paper?  Simply this:  Before I die, I would like to be where the gospel is preached with power and miracles displaying the compassion of God for His people.