Making People Feel Special

       

Since John McCain’s death about two weeks ago on August 25, so many anecdotes and words of affection have been shared about this very human but also very praiseworthy America-loving man.  However, the one that stands out to me was related by Joshua Johnson, NPR host of “1A,” during the panel discussion on Meet the Press, August 26^th.  His driver to the broadcast that morning had often driven John McCain, too.  Unlike other riders, McCain would ride in the front seat of the car and talk affably with the driver.  When the senator got out, he would salute or call the driver by his first name.

Mr. Johnson then admitted he didn’t even know his driver’s name.  He paraphrased a well- known Maya Angelou quote: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  As Johnson emphasized the  very end, immediately I was reminded of the wonderful way an unassuming retired EIU (Eastern Illinois University) professor remembered my husband as he expressed his sympathy to me after Jim’s sudden death.  Jim and I had gotten acquainted with Richard at the university’s fitness center where friendlier exercisers often make casual conversation with one another.

Richard told me he always enjoyed talking to Jim because he was interesting and engaging, and “when he talked to me, it made me feel like I was that way, too.”  In other words, he recognized that Jim had a special quality about him that made Richard feel special, also; he remembered how Jim made him feel.  When I shared Richard’s comment with his wife, she said he had told her the same thing about Jim.

Friendly engagement, listening with genuine interest to another's words and experiences--surely these characterize what Maya Angelou claims is the real measure of a person.  According to Joshua Johnson from NPR, John McCain exhibited this lack of snobbery and personal attention to everyday people and celebrities alike.  These are much needed and too little seen personal traits in our increasingly impersonal world.  I am thankful to have spent so many years sharing life with just such a person, not a statesman on a world stage but someone who also made others feel noticed and special.