The "golden tape"--truly something good

          Quite unexpectedly, I “struck gold” right before Christmas.  No, I was not out in the hills somewhere mining for treasures.  In fact, I was looking for a cassette tape (yes, we kept some when we downsized significantly moving to Charleston) that I thought I still had.  In digging out those few cassettes, I came across the golden, but forgotten tape of Jim talking about his Christian life almost 30 years ago.  We were attending a nondenominational church at the time, and the deacons had been asked to share their testimonies with the church members.  Somehow, I had procured a tape, the item of gold, in my stash of ancient tapes.

          I saw this discovery as a gift, and the timing could not have been better.  Our son David and his family were coming here over the holidays, so my hope was the adults could listen to it one night after the kids were in bed.  The logistics didn’t work out for that, but David and I did find a time to  play it and hear the voice of someone so loved and missed..  Sharing it with our daughter here in Charleston would be much easier to work out.

          In the meantime, I wanted to get a copy of the tape on a CD, a more durable saving device than those old cassette tapes.  Beginning with a phone call to a computer store here in town, I ended up at the university library which had just the equipment I needed, and using it was free!  As I had mentioned the tape to a few friends—I was so excited to have found it, an excitement that I had not felt for anything since Jim’s death—I found people were interested in hearing Jim’s story.  Lou, a friend from his high school class, who had worked with him on the 50^th class reunion committee, wanted a copy and talked about sharing it with the committee who still gets together every few months.

          While talking with Lou on the phone, I saw possibilities for sharing Jim’s words well beyond our family.  One thing that I was sad about when he died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack, was that such a Godly man, something so needed, men and women alike, was no longer among us, serving in word and in deed.  But finding this recording and sharing it opens possibilities for his life to continue to further God’s efforts to reach out to people, to draw them closer to Jesus Christ and open hearts to a fuller experience of the Holy Spirit.  The old tape was like gold, indeed.

          To date, I have made about 20 copies and even calmed my eagerness to hurriedly get them out so I could put a little more polish into the “project.”  I bought some clear CD holders, largely to give them more protection in the mail.  Last Sunday, our church bulletin had a dove and the scripture, “baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit” on the front.  Fairly primitive in my knowledge of computer scanning, graphics, etc., I copied the bulletin graphic and listed this blog website on it as an easy—and free—means of sharing the “story of the tape.” 

          Here in Charleston, I just started a Disciple Fast Track Bible study on the letters of Paul at my neighbors’ church.  I am enjoying being back into study with real homework and participation among the “students” in the class. This week the study book talked about how Paul’s letters were written to various churches he had started with the intention of being read to gatherings of these Christians in different cities and countries.  Paul’s words were then spoken, just like Jim’s words on the CDs; I am praying they will “speak” to the hearts of those who listen.

          A few friends might get the CD package tomorrow, some whom I have not talked to about it.  A few names came to mind as I went through the stack of copies to mail beyond the people I had mentioned finding the tape to.  If any who get a copy want to make some more to share, please do.  God does promise to “work all things together for good for those who love God  . . . “ (Rom. 8:28).  This tape would have remained in an old collection of cassette tapes, unheard by others, if Jim still walked among us.  Now his genuine and honest sharing, his testimony that powerfully reveals how God works in our lives and nurtures growth in the things of God will be heard and hopefully nudge people to draw nearer to God and experience a fuller measure of the Holy Spirit.  This is truly good.       

Seeking a life "on the prairie" continues

              Some who know me will be surprised to learn that I picked someone up at the university’s fitness center just today.  Before your imaginations run wild, let me clarify.  For a few weeks, I have noticed a cute woman accompanying a regular exerciser who previously came in alone.  Sometimes, when I passed by them, I would hear them speaking in another language.  So, today as she was walking by my exercise post, I called to her and started a conversation. 

            Making a major life change about three and a half years ago, my husband Jim and I moved from St. Louis County where we had lived all our lives to the Illinois prairie, Charleston, Illinois, to be specific.  Our daughter and her husband had taken jobs at Eastern Illinois University about three years before that, relocating from North Carolina to be closer to us and back in the Midwest for Bonnie.  Henry, our first grandchild, was five then, and he seemed happy to be seeing more of us. 

            My hopes for my life had been to become a teacher, marry a man who loved me that I could love back (my simplistic prayer God so beautifully answered), and have children.  I never thought about having a career per se; staying home with young children was what I had planned to do.  My parents also needed my support and thoroughly enjoyed sharing time with our young family.  No matter what, my father was always glad to see us.  Over the years, I had become a bit of a partner for him when my mother’s mental health issues periodically became problematic. Even after I began teaching developmental English classes at a community college and then doing some writing, my basic identity was as a committed Christian family girl, by choice not necessity.

            Fast forward through life with grown children pursuing advanced graduate degrees, living in ten states between the two of them in just over five years—well, our hopes of remaining a St. Louis clan like so many of our friends had faded.  Adding to our feeling in a rut, I began to experience at times serious but somewhat illusive health problems, occasionally making me quite ill.  After prayerful consideration and other factors, my husband and I decided to depart St. Louis, the gateway to the West, and begin anew nearer to both children and their families.

            Making the move proved to be providential although breaking into a connected life in Charleston has had its challenges.  I could not be a part of high school friends or lifelong friends—some groupings one just can’t qualify for.  But we did bust out of that St. Louis rut.  My retired coach husband loved living so close to university athletics, riding his bike to track meets and baseball games; he just soaked in university life, and so did I in some ways.  We didn’t know being here would be the last two years of his life, but known or not, it was a gift.  He got to help coach our grandson’s baseball team two summers and became as close to working at a university, something he had wanted to do after retiring from teaching physical education and coaching, as he could have been.

            One might wonder, what does all of this history have to do with picking up the lady at the fitness center.  Upon Jim's sudden death, my life dramatically changed to one on my own—for the first time ever living alone—but this seemed the obvious change I could write about for a writing prompt on that subject.  But continuing to find connection and meaning in a new and very different place remains a priority and sometimes a challenge.  It is work to seek out fellowship and activity especially when efforts sometimes disappoint.  I fully understand Jesus listing “I was a stranger and you invited me in” in Mathew 25 when He describes who lives in true love and faith.

            Today my pick-up proved very satisfying on both ends.  Roxana is from El Salvador and joins her husband here over breaks and summers unless he heads back home.  She is diligently working on her English and was most excited when I offered to be a conversation friend.  She even wanted to skype and continue our talking after she returns to El Salvador in about two weeks.  She told me her husband wants her to use English with him, but she says their native language is more romantic.  Rather cute, I thought.  So I continue on, asking God’s strength and providential guidance to make this prairie life my own.  Just for the record, I never picked up anybody.  Not in my skill set.