Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Seeking a life "on the prairie" continues


              Some who know me will be surprised to learn that I picked someone up at the university’s fitness center just today.  Before your imaginations run wild, let me clarify.  For a few weeks, I have noticed a cute woman accompanying a regular exerciser who previously came in alone.  Sometimes, when I passed by them, I would hear them speaking in another language.  So, today as she was walking by my exercise post, I called to her and started a conversation. 

            Making a major life change about three and a half years ago, my husband Jim and I moved from St. Louis County where we had lived all our lives to the Illinois prairie, Charleston, Illinois, to be specific.  Our daughter and her husband had taken jobs at Eastern Illinois University about three years before that, relocating from North Carolina to be closer to us and back in the Midwest for Bonnie.  Henry, our first grandchild, was five then, and he seemed happy to be seeing more of us. 

            My hopes for my life had been to become a teacher, marry a man who loved me that I could love back (my simplistic prayer God so beautifully answered), and have children.  I never thought about having a career per se; staying home with young children was what I had planned to do.  My parents also needed my support and thoroughly enjoyed sharing time with our young family.  No matter what, my father was always glad to see us.  Over the years, I had become a bit of a partner for him when my mother’s mental health issues periodically became problematic. Even after I began teaching developmental English classes at a community college and then doing some writing, my basic identity was as a committed Christian family girl, by choice not necessity.

            Fast forward through life with grown children pursuing advanced graduate degrees, living in ten states between the two of them in just over five years—well, our hopes of remaining a St. Louis clan like so many of our friends had faded.  Adding to our feeling in a rut, I began to experience at times serious but somewhat illusive health problems, occasionally making me quite ill.  After prayerful consideration and other factors, my husband and I decided to depart St. Louis, the gateway to the West, and begin anew nearer to both children and their families.

            Making the move proved to be providential although breaking into a connected life in Charleston has had its challenges.  I could not be a part of high school friends or lifelong friends—some groupings one just can’t qualify for.  But we did bust out of that St. Louis rut.  My retired coach husband loved living so close to university athletics, riding his bike to track meets and baseball games; he just soaked in university life, and so did I in some ways.  We didn’t know being here would be the last two years of his life, but known or not, it was a gift.  He got to help coach our grandson’s baseball team two summers and became as close to working at a university, something he had wanted to do after retiring from teaching physical education and coaching, as he could have been.

            One might wonder, what does all of this history have to do with picking up the lady at the fitness center.  Upon Jim's sudden death, my life dramatically changed to one on my own—for the first time ever living alone—but this seemed the obvious change I could write about for a writing prompt on that subject.  But continuing to find connection and meaning in a new and very different place remains a priority and sometimes a challenge.  It is work to seek out fellowship and activity especially when efforts sometimes disappoint.  I fully understand Jesus listing “I was a stranger and you invited me in” in Mathew 25 when He describes who lives in true love and faith.

            Today my pick-up proved very satisfying on both ends.  Roxana is from El Salvador and joins her husband here over breaks and summers unless he heads back home.  She is diligently working on her English and was most excited when I offered to be a conversation friend.  She even wanted to skype and continue our talking after she returns to El Salvador in about two weeks.  She told me her husband wants her to use English with him, but she says their native language is more romantic.  Rather cute, I thought.  So I continue on, asking God’s strength and providential guidance to make this prairie life my own.  Just for the record, I never picked up anybody.  Not in my skill set.

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