Perhaps you belong to a casual club, or perhaps you don’t even know what I am
talking about. This distinction I, myself, only became familiar with
after my husband, Jim, and I joined the Eastern Illinois University Rec
Center to work out just four years ago. Have I heard other “casual club”
members use this terminology? Well, no. But, I have come to believe
this classification might be an original Rayma Kay Laughlin creation.
Many who work out at the rec center are students, EIU faculty, and
retirees. Clearly, some have friends and casual acquaintances from being
part of the Charleston community over the years. However, Jim and I
joined the rec just seven months after moving to Charleston in 2015 after
living all our lives—about 66 years—in St. Louis, Missouri. Our
connections here were few but three of them were the reasons for this move: our
daughter, son-in-law (EIU employees}, and first grandson, then five.
Joining the rec center at the university was our first venture here not
associated with family, like kids’ baseball games, church activities, and
family get-togethers.
Right from the start, Jim and I enjoyed associating with the EIU student
workers at the rec. Jim and I are both outgoing, retired teachers, and at
that time eager to make some personal connections in our new town. Jim
especially became engaged with athletes, some track and cross country
students. He, himself, attended Southern Illinois University in
Edwardsville on a cross country scholarship and had competed at EIU while in
college. I, on the other hand, had never even heard of EIU until our
daughter applied for a job here. Before Jim’s sudden death in August, 2017,
we had become casually acquainted with students and fellow workout folks, and I
had begun calling them “casual club members.”
Staying with our habit of twice weekly workouts after Jim’s death proved to be
life-giving. Upon my return to exercising, many people expressed their
sadness and sympathy. I believe some might even have prayed for our
family. News of a man appearing to be in good shape suddenly dying while
riding a bike travels fast in a small town (20,000 including university students).
Because Jim had no identification with him, he was probably already pronounced
dead at the Emergency Room by the time the officers found me, adding to the
dramatic impact of our story.
This last week in the first month of a new year, 2020, has been filled with the
tragic story of a very famous former basketball player, Kobe Bryant, his
daughter and seven more dying in a helicopter crash. All had
left their homes the day of the crash expecting to return just like my husband
had and so many others do every day but don’t come home as expected. Of
course, I have thought more of Jim and that experience of sudden loss in
my own life. When I texted these feelings to my son and asked, "How about you?" he replied,
“Agreed. Lot of families in this situation changed instantly.” Then
we simply affirmed our love for each other.
Survivors like us are not in a casual club, but I do feel a kinship with them
as I do with other widows I now know. But it is the rec center where I
find continued “benefits” from my casual club membership. I’ve even made
a couple friends, students and adults, whom I see outside our rec center
connections. That is such a blessing for a person still feeling new to
this community. Just yesterday, I took the a new rubber cane tip that I
couldn’t get on because the old, beaten down one wouldn’t come off. I was
on the way to “the club” when I discovered this problem, so I just took the new
tip with me, knowing I would get help at the rec center. Sarah, the
supervisor, just took a tool and cut the old tip off. Yes, a casual club
member comes to the rescue once again.
Such casual clubs and the opportunities they provide not only for personal
fitness but also for socialization and simple acts of kindness are beneficial
beyond measure for people like me who need more than exercise. Real
connections among us, not just virtual ones, can provide substance to our
exhortation to love one another.
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